Tag: Mum

Dear Mum: A Letter To the Skies

 

Dear Mum

Over the last sixteen months, I’ve missed being able to pop next door and tell you all my news, so as today is special, I thought I’d fill you in on what’s happened since last July 22.

Despite the beautiful playing, the Yamaha remains unsold
Despite the beautiful playing, the Yamaha remains unsold

Well, yesterday I spliced the top of my toe on a tent peg at Yeovil Car Boot. I know; you’re raising your brow and rolling your eyes, thinking, typical, but I can see the smile trying to break out. We sold some of your pictures – the beautiful Egyptian papyrus paintings. I liked the man who bought them. He knew his stuff and he appreciated the skill and time that went into the art. Whilst he was chatting with us, he was planning where in his flat he was going to hang them. He had seven ear-rings in one ear. He told me it didn’t hurt.

Ringo
Ringo

Garry’s taken some of your things we didn’t sell to PAWS. I know you’ll be happy with that. You love your cats. We have three now – Daisy, Rascal and Sheldon (named after a character in The Big Bang Theory). I hope Ringo found his way to you.

I’ve been to Italy. We’d planned to go together, hadn’t we? To visit The Lakes. Have you been yet? I went to Umbria on a writing course. Sue Moorcroft, a name you know well, was the tutor, and Celia J Anderson, one of my wonderful Romaniac friends, who’s written Sweet Proposal, came too. The hosts at Arte Umbria are lovely. We were so well looked after, and the people I met there were warm, fascinating and funny – many laughs were had. I came home with a way forward with Follow Me, the book I started writing before you left, and a tan. Can you believe it? My usual ‘pale and interesting’ look has gone on vacation.

Laura, Sue & Celia at Arte Umbria July 2013
Laura, Sue & Celia at Arte Umbria July 2013

Sheffield was fantastic. That’s where the Romantic Novelists’ Association’s conference was held. It was a five hour drive, but I had my favourite music on, and the sun was shining. It was a weekend of learning and more laughing. I gave my first ever live interview. I couldn’t believe it. Now you’re really smiling. I know. Who’d have thought? The very lovely and very generous Miranda Dickinson invited me onto her vlog (video log, Mum), for a chat about my books. Yes. I did say books, in the plural. I’ll tell you about that later.

In March, the children, Garry, and I went to Florida for our first ever family holiday. Mum, it was fantastic. I’d like to live in Disneyworld – Hollywood Studios, in particular. The children loved it. We had a villa with a pool, a hire car and three weeks to visit the Disney parks, Universal Studios and NASA. I took over four hundred photos. Your grandson trained as a padawan, a young Jedi, your granddaughter tried every rollercoaster going, which was a huge breakthrough for the young lady who cringed just watching adverts about them, Garry enjoyed the driving and got us everywhere we needed to be, and I sung in The American Idol Experience and got through to the live show!

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We returned home mid-April. I can’t believe it was three months ago.

When I attended the RNA Summer Party in May, and friends asked how the trip went, I realised, in the midst of conversation, it had been a life-changing holiday. I can’t put my finger on why, but I am now able to look forward more than back, and those occasions when I do peer over my shoulder, I’m able to raise a smile, not a tear.

Mostly.

Celia, Vanessa, Jan & Laura. 4/9 Romaniacs
Celia, Vanessa, Jan & Laura. 4/9 Romaniacs at Conference

The children are doing well. They are both high achievers and Garry and I are very proud of them. They talk about you often, and whenever we hear ‘Don’t Stop Me Now’, we look at one another and say, ‘Gran’s here.’

I’m growing my hair a little longer, and Garry’s keeping his shorter. It’s a wise decision. His IT business is going from strength-to-strength. That’s nothing to do with keeping his hair short. He’s working hard.

And I just want to mention Bro. He’s an excellent big brother.

Christmas was different without you. Quiet. Not that you were the noisy one. We missed you. My birthday was difficult, but Mother’s Day was okay. I thought I’d struggle, but Garry and the children made sure I had a good day.

Right then. Books. Well, I’ve been saving this bit of news until last. You could tell there was something, couldn’t you? You know me so well. That draft you read – Truth or Dare? – it’s going to be published, and do you know by whom? Choc Lit. Yes. Choc Lit. I know. Another name with which you are so familiar. I hope to dedicate the book to you. You’ll be in a novel, Mum. I’m busy finishing book two at the moment, ready to submit to the Taster Panel. Let’s hope they ask for seconds.

I’m so pleased we had our time together. I’m so glad I was able to share with you the pleasure my family, friends and writing bring me. I think about you every day, and often chat to you, but that’s okay, because I’m a writer and we do stuff like that all the time. I hope you’ve been having not just a good time, but a great one, Mum. I stayed up last night and watched the clock turn over to midnight. I wanted to be the first to wish you a happy birthday. It was raining, but I knew by the time I woke, the sun would be shining. I remember you saying it is always sunny on your birthday. As usual, you’re right; it’s beautiful here.

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Well, I have to go now, I’ve books to write and whites to wash. I’ll raise a glass of Ribena in your honour, Mum.

Happy Birthday.

All my love,

Laura xxx

 

 

Always On My Mind

IMG_1191Yesterday was the first day of spring. A time of renewal.

Today is the first anniversary of the loss of my mother.

Not much has changed, and yet, everything has.

I’m still vulnerable to attacks of naivety, anxiety, and concerns I might have said or done the wrong thing, but I’m the end of the line. There is no more ‘I’ll hear what Mum has to say about it’. That doesn’t stop me wondering. The advice and guidance she offered throughout our life together is drawn upon every day. ‘This time will pass’, features often.

As a family, we have moved forward, and we’ve taken my mum with us.

As Lilo and Stitch say, ‘Ohana’.

Laura x

 

 

 

 

Diva Days

Sorry
Sorry

I owe you an apology. Sorry.

On Friday, I removed my birthday notification from my Facebook page. It was a selfish act, I realise that now, but at the time, I was facing my very first birthday without my mother, having lost her at the end of March last year. The week leading up to my birthday was tough, as the corresponding days twelve months ago were when I took Mum to hospital for the operation from which she did not return. I wanted my birthday to pass by unnoticed.

At least, that’s what I thought until, on Saturday morning, a long-standing and very good friend posted birthday wishes on my timeline. Other notifications followed, and I also received texts and private messages. I was touched and teary, but most of all, moved by the warmth and kindness of friends and family. I give you my heart-felt thanks for your wishes and support, and I promise not to be so difficult next year.

And, as all writers know, one day, I  might use the experience in a book.

It was a busy day, and a hectic weekend. Here’s my birthday, and Mother’s Day in pictures.

Take care.

Laura x

Birthday gifts from my children
Birthday gifts from my children

 

 

Carol Hedges and Laura meet...
Carol Hedges and Laura meet…
Big Bros present
Big Bros present
Carol Hedges signing my daughter's copies of 'Spy Girl' books
Carol Hedges signing my daughter’s copies of Carol’s ‘Spy Girl’ books
RNA author spotting in Smiths.
RNA author spotting in Smiths.
Wonderful Mother's Day gifts and cards
Wonderful Mother’s Day gifts and cards

Birthdays and Parties.

Today would have been my mother’s birthday. Having lost her earlier this year, I wasn’t sure how I would react. It was strange not to have bought a present and a card, although I still wished her a Happy Birthday.

I stayed up until midnight to do so.

At noon, our family enjoyed a lovely lunch at the place Mum and I used to go, then we strolled on the hot sand, where the children played on the swinging boats and bounced on the trampolines, and finally, to wrap up the day, we visited a local dairy farm where the best ice cream is produced. I had honeycomb. I recall Mum had that when we were last there. Then as now, the weather was beautiful.

I suspect my mother had something to do with that.

Mum was extremely supportive of my writing efforts and was pleased I had found a nuturing and friendly group within which to learn the craft. Something she was happy for me to do was attend the RNA Conference in Penrith.

The Romantic Novelists’ Association Conference 2012 was my first.

I joined six of my fellow Romaniacs, and met writers with whom I’ve previously interacted via the internet or with whom I had become acquainted at one of the RNA parties. The Conference was sociable, friendly and fun, with a great kitchen party on the Friday night.  I’m pleased to say singing was involved.

Study was involved too, with trade panels and workshops on all nature of writerly things, and I made two pitches to top editors. Once home, it took three days to absorb everything that had happened. Now I realise I have to get my head down and finish book two.  Oh. And find an agent.

That will be down to me.

Laura x

Seasons in the Sun

It’s June, it’s raining and it’s summer. And I missed spring.

The beautiful season of renewal and new beginnings bypassed me as I dealt with the loss of my mother – emotionally and physically.

I say dealt, but I’m still shuffling some of those cards. They’ve not all yet made it to the table.

This last fortnight, I have been sorting and clearing my mum’s house and have spent many hours being reminded of times past or discovering little gems of information I never knew. Some of it made me cry, plenty made me smile and one or two things made me exclaim ‘Mum!’. All of it helped me understand more about myself. It turns out, I’m more like my mother than I realised. That’s a good thing.

That’s a wonderful thing.

Life is a little less perfect without Mum in it, but my family and I are focussing on a positive future, whilst learning how to remember the good times with a smile and not a tear.

Here comes the sun.

Laura x